It took a lot for me to realize the horrible things about my past relationship, only after it had ended. Toxic relationships can be hard to identify sometimes when you’re in them. You come to love or be infatuated with a person and then blind yourself and convince yourself everything is fine, when it’s not. Just like that, I remained in such a relationship for almost 3 years.
This weekend should be something interesting. Romance is the main theme as my boyfriend is taking me to his cottage up north on his island on Georgian Bay. What!
I’ve packed my swimsuit and boy am I ever ready for something we’ve been dreaming about for a while… Star gazing, picnics, boating, and just having time to ourselves. I’m definitely taking my camera!
I’ll be back sometime next week ❤
xoxo, Stacette
The one… More like the one we search for forever and never find! (cough cough due to the media and society’s expectations!)
One must understand that searching for “the one” is not the right way to go. When you are searching for the one you easily have expectations for them… Such as, they have to be handsome, or they MUST love EVERYTHING I love. I will tell you in advance that is exactly how you fall OUT of love. In order to find someone, there has to be a connection, without question. The catch; it won’t only be one relationship with the strong connection… So, there really is no perfect “one”.
It is much like approaching different situations with an open mind. You see what you are most into or can have close ties with, and find a connection. WARNING: The connection doesn’t always spark off at first. It takes a bit of work, such as maybe texting and talking but as soon as feelings and passion are reciprocated, (RECIPROCATED, YOU HEAR? If the other person is unsure it’s not worth your time to wait. period.), you are more than welcome to introduce passion… This is the fuel to the fire. If passion runs out so will the want to try other (more passionate) people… So, keep the fire going! It’s like they say, if you’re bored it means you’re simply a boring person.
To ensure the passion keeps on keeping on, it is important if not essential to maintain your confidence and all of the good virtues in tact. For example, say you have trust issues. You can doubt them all you want, but communication is important and so you must tell the partner what’s wrong. This will give them a hint to fight for you. With that in order the last part is a bit of fun… You can never go wrong with trying something new together and always keeping busy, especially avoiding a routine.
If I could be a little more obvious I would also add:
-you must invest time and QUALITY time into a relationship.
-ensure you’re actually going somewhere in the relationship, don’t sit on the same pedestal forever (AHEM- if they still aren’t sure they want you then it shouldn’t even be a question!)
Lastly, I’d like to note out there to the dating newbies:
When you are first starting out in the dating world it may take time for one to handle a real relationship. There will be several short relationships. Those will not be useless… They each must have at least taught you something. All of these things add up until you come to a relationship where all your cards are at play- meaning you are ready for a real relationship.
I hope you all found this post interesting, as I have wanted to make a relationships advice post for a looong time.
XOXO, Stacette
Ahh, cupid strikes when Veronica meets the lovely and alluring Chaz Beautiful from the boy band, One Erection…
Oh, yes. We went there!
Watch this incredibly special episode of ShowTime!
Stupid question, I know. Just hear me out.
PDA is just affection. If we encourage love, why do we get grossed out or just show disgust towards it but then turn into hypocrites when we do it ourselves?
Can I just begin with, popularity sucks.
Here is why.
a) you have to take into account other’s ideas about you and ideas of who you should date/be best friends with
b) you have to live up to these expectations
c) you have to explain to everyone why, why oh why you chose the other path
Anyone who decides to think differently about it and turn their cheek on the subject is wrong.
But being a teenager isn’t about staying noble and loyal like some puppy to your parents and everyone around you (if you do then you’ll never survive without your mom, cough cough Victoria on America’s Next Top Model.)
Being a teenager is about starting to take control over your life, making your own decisions, and ultimately breaking some rules and promises if you have to do it to be truly happy or satisfied with your life.
Sometimes it may be right to take a minute to think about consequences, but that is just for a moment, don’t over think things.
By today’s turn of events, I’m going to stick with what my heart says. I’ve been living with the thought that following your mind is what you should do, but I was wrong, it messes you up, almost turns you into a heartless being really. When you are faced to make a decision that could really scar you, you obviously will turn to your mind and start thinking, but it gets out of hand sometimes.
I was faced with either staying with someone with whom I’d have the benefits of a tough football guy who everyone approved of, or going with summer boy which no one approved of. Of course, I had feelings for summer boy. I never really had feelings for the football guy, nor was I physically attractive, so it was either be happy and cross my fingers that people won’t judge my choice (people like football dude’s friends which I’d later have to explain to) or pretend to be happy with someone I never will be with. Feelings take time, sure, but there were also little things in between.
For once I chose my heart over anything else, I really forgot when I was over thinking things. and let me just tell you, it feels so much better.
As cliché as it may sound, follow your heart, make your own decisions, and stick with it. Just do it.
xoxo,
Stacette.
I’d like to start out by saying, if we don’t have enough of a connection to really talk in depth about things that we both are interested in, don’t even think about asking me out. (I’m talking three hours of several paragraph messaging, and oh yes, it does happen in real life.)
Call me a whore, whatever youre definition of it is… But I am serious when I say: out of all the guys I’ve really talked to, only few have crossed my mind as the thought of “oh my gosh they’re totally like my soulmate because like we have the same interests and like we talk for like hours and we’re like deep!” I really believe that a successful relationship is one that has (close to or) all checks for terms like attraction, communication, trust/reliability, etc… There are probably a lot more than that but I’m just being brief.
Guys, I know it’s hard for most of you to deal with things when you’re just so damn attracted to her. I think the first step that you GUYS can do to prevent any misconceptions occuring in most modern society relationships (I’m looking at you, highschool boys!) IS… Be honest. I’m not even joking. If the biggest reason you like her is because you want a “fuck buddy” or you want her to be your “only fuck buddy”, TELL HER. Okay, now, don’t go off texting her “I want you to be my fuck buddy” just yet… In fact, dont be the one to text about that. Why? Because if you want to see if she’ll agree (I’ll spare you my judgement in your choice here) you don’t want to pressure her into it. NO; just because you asked her “are you sure?” and she said “yeah” doesn’t mean she actually meant it. That’s like simple pursuasion right there. Do it in person, that way you can really see the facial expression and body language to tell if she is ready or not… or wants to. The point of this is to not be misleading. Don’t tell her you want a long relationship with her if that isn’t all you want… 1, that’s emotional damage if she really falls for it, 2, you’re being a douche, and thinking with your dick. Stop. It’s no longer attractive when you’re a douche, give some fucking respect. And seriously dude if you’re really one to be okay with pressuring her into something like that… I’m judging you.
I just realized that this post is sort of homophobic but I’m sorry I just don’t know anything on that! :S
Girls, respect yourself. A wise friend told me that you should not allow a guy to think he has you right away because if you do imply so, a guy’s mind(/dick) will automatically think “oh, ok, alright- I got this, so I can like get far with her”… You must sit on a throne and he will be the peasant coming to you with a request and you will be the one saying “Hmm, I don’t know, maybe, I will see”, because that way they can’t take the advantage over you.
This post may also show off as offensive and sexist but I’m just being completely honest because this is pretty much the biggest problem in our modern society (highschool, anyways).
I guess it really depends what you’re looking for. For me, this is just the basics I have so far learned about our modern relationships… In no way am I saying this is absolutely the right way to deal with things… This is just what you can call my way or opinion on how it should be. You could have some other views than me.
-Stacette
Alright so you may have noticed that I’ve mentioned “cute” and went all sweet about today’s post when I mentioned it in yesterday’s “daily” post… Yeah… That’s my mood of the day.
Highlights of the day:
-Woke up in the morning, later than usual, and mastered the challenge of 30 mins to get ready with 20 mins left to chill…
–He knows that I pass his class on my way to my class for second period… He waited to see me out of his class to see me, omg! LITTLE THINGS, GUYS. Gets me every time. Especially since he’s not the suck up type of guy, if you know what I mean.
-During lunch a bestie and I gained the balls to get outside and walk in the pouring rain to buy pizza!
-I saw him three times today, hugs included… Which is good because I get so frantic in the hallways going to class just hoping I will… and normally it’s only about once I see him.
– Before the end of school I also saw him, he’s found out where my locker is I’m guessing… And he got a full hug since this time my bag wasn’t in the way…. that bag is the epitome of awkwardness when it comes to “backpacks”… It’s not even a backpack. I just use it sort of as one, but properly.
-I think we’re back to seeing eachother, later on a weekend.
How great is that? I finally don’t have to wonder whether I’m reserved or not…
Because there were ideas about three other people interested that my friends had been pushing on me (I think one of my guyfriends is mad at me, too… I think you may know who I’m talking about here if you’ve kept up to date)… But I can finally reject those, with pleasure. I now have a legitimate excuse for my friends to forget naming any attractive guy passing in the halls “my man”… I don’t understand their logic.
Plus, this was the outcome I truly was hoping for. “Getting over it” just wasn’t an option.
I think I’m starting to like time, it has gotten me through a lot, gotten me to a lot… and it definitely helps me figure out things.
On another note, I am ecstatic and just can’t wait for fall to start. I DEMAND SWEATER WEATHER! (actually I already wore a sweater today but still) I just love seeing the fall colours come in, may as well adore it while it lasts!
This is like the complete opposite of last year. If this year was slope, it’d be perpendicular to the one last year. (Yes, I just did a math reference)
Last year I did:
-nothing
-nothing
-oh, and nothing
Joking! I wasn’t a total loner. Either I was out with a friend, doing stuff with drama club, or working on a project in the library… But that’s about as exciting it got (besides the short periods I dated someone… Hah, like those grade nine relationships would’ve worked out… right.)
This year I have a load on my back (reminder, I’m not a freaking donkey…)
Alongside having Science, Civics (it’s easy but requires a nice amount of projects and assignments), and math all in one semester, I have a lot of out of school work to do:
-Volunteering on thursdays at local school library
-Start, shoot, and premier the new show… Remember, I’m still Victoria Winters when I’m not Stacette. (Double-life, hell yeah!)
-Be a mentor at school and go to the orientation camp for bully prevention (actually excited about that) and I’m planning to attending an Olympic parade as a mentor next friday… (depends if I make it in time)
-Choose and Direct a scene for a drama club preformance (even though I’m not taking drama this year, It’d still be nice to be a part of the drama group)
-Work as a yearbook page designer (hey, at least if I’m buying this thing I may as well have good photos in it! But, really I was considering doing it and a friend convinced me to)
To be honest I don’t think I can do much more than that (for now) I was wanting to try out for volleyball team, maybe track. I haven’t done either in like two years and think it’d be good to try it out again. Thankfully though, volleyball is more into the year (winter or springtime I’m hoping, since that’d be my second semester) and track and field may be, too… But honestly thinking about track, there are any faster people who have really been training to do it, I don’t think I’d be serious enough/into it as much and they probably deserve that spot to go to meets…
Don’t even think about cheerleading. I was thinking about it, but it’s not my thing. I don’t dance, and I definitely am no gymnast… Just, no. (Even though he tried out for football team and probably made it… I’d rather be the one on the bleachers sitting with a bunch of friends cheering him on with my heart instead of my poor dance skills. Really.)
So that is going to be my year, I’m guessing… The forecast seems pretty daunting, but not stormy, just a fun challenge. Bring it on.
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