Stuff talking about my relationship(s)…
It took a lot for me to realize the horrible things about my past relationship, only after it had ended. Toxic relationships can be hard to identify sometimes when you’re in them. You come to love or be infatuated with a person and then blind yourself and convince yourself everything is fine, when it’s not. Just like that, I remained in such a relationship for almost 3 years.
Forever?
you are forever the memories in my heart
you are forever the great(x) grandchildren
you are forever the elements of the earth
you are forever the stardust in the universe
you are forever
The one… More like the one we search for forever and never find! (cough cough due to the media and society’s expectations!)
One must understand that searching for “the one” is not the right way to go. When you are searching for the one you easily have expectations for them… Such as, they have to be handsome, or they MUST love EVERYTHING I love. I will tell you in advance that is exactly how you fall OUT of love. In order to find someone, there has to be a connection, without question. The catch; it won’t only be one relationship with the strong connection… So, there really is no perfect “one”.
It is much like approaching different situations with an open mind. You see what you are most into or can have close ties with, and find a connection. WARNING: The connection doesn’t always spark off at first. It takes a bit of work, such as maybe texting and talking but as soon as feelings and passion are reciprocated, (RECIPROCATED, YOU HEAR? If the other person is unsure it’s not worth your time to wait. period.), you are more than welcome to introduce passion… This is the fuel to the fire. If passion runs out so will the want to try other (more passionate) people… So, keep the fire going! It’s like they say, if you’re bored it means you’re simply a boring person.
To ensure the passion keeps on keeping on, it is important if not essential to maintain your confidence and all of the good virtues in tact. For example, say you have trust issues. You can doubt them all you want, but communication is important and so you must tell the partner what’s wrong. This will give them a hint to fight for you. With that in order the last part is a bit of fun… You can never go wrong with trying something new together and always keeping busy, especially avoiding a routine.
If I could be a little more obvious I would also add:
-you must invest time and QUALITY time into a relationship.
-ensure you’re actually going somewhere in the relationship, don’t sit on the same pedestal forever (AHEM- if they still aren’t sure they want you then it shouldn’t even be a question!)
Lastly, I’d like to note out there to the dating newbies:
When you are first starting out in the dating world it may take time for one to handle a real relationship. There will be several short relationships. Those will not be useless… They each must have at least taught you something. All of these things add up until you come to a relationship where all your cards are at play- meaning you are ready for a real relationship.
I hope you all found this post interesting, as I have wanted to make a relationships advice post for a looong time.
XOXO, Stacette
My life is officially like a movie.
Ok, maybe not a movie, more like a tv show. Heard of the show Suits? So my friend convinced me to watch it and little did I know that just after finishing watching the second season would I be reflecting upon it and seeing how the whole show has had a great impact on the way I think.
Yeah, it did teach me some stuff about law. And, yes, it did also make me start using their way of thought such as the “gun pointed at your head” thing… But what this show really has is a direct relation to my life.
Attention! There may be spoilers!
Stupid question, I know. Just hear me out.
PDA is just affection. If we encourage love, why do we get grossed out or just show disgust towards it but then turn into hypocrites when we do it ourselves?
So… Just casually sitting in the library, BLOGGING. I got lucky that my third period class teacher took us here and that I finished my work quickly. I’m pretty excited for tonight because I get to really hang with “Franc” (for a whole 3-5 hours! Omg!) Annd yet its supposed to rain so this should be interesting. And, as much as I love being mischevious and hiding in the forest to sneak a kiss with him I really dislike that I have to avoid people when they ask about my dating life because I honestly don’t know what to say, Id rather show you than tell you. Then at least less doubts will be sent my way.
Can I just begin with, popularity sucks.
Here is why.
a) you have to take into account other’s ideas about you and ideas of who you should date/be best friends with
b) you have to live up to these expectations
c) you have to explain to everyone why, why oh why you chose the other path
Anyone who decides to think differently about it and turn their cheek on the subject is wrong.
But being a teenager isn’t about staying noble and loyal like some puppy to your parents and everyone around you (if you do then you’ll never survive without your mom, cough cough Victoria on America’s Next Top Model.)
Being a teenager is about starting to take control over your life, making your own decisions, and ultimately breaking some rules and promises if you have to do it to be truly happy or satisfied with your life.
Sometimes it may be right to take a minute to think about consequences, but that is just for a moment, don’t over think things.
By today’s turn of events, I’m going to stick with what my heart says. I’ve been living with the thought that following your mind is what you should do, but I was wrong, it messes you up, almost turns you into a heartless being really. When you are faced to make a decision that could really scar you, you obviously will turn to your mind and start thinking, but it gets out of hand sometimes.
I was faced with either staying with someone with whom I’d have the benefits of a tough football guy who everyone approved of, or going with summer boy which no one approved of. Of course, I had feelings for summer boy. I never really had feelings for the football guy, nor was I physically attractive, so it was either be happy and cross my fingers that people won’t judge my choice (people like football dude’s friends which I’d later have to explain to) or pretend to be happy with someone I never will be with. Feelings take time, sure, but there were also little things in between.
For once I chose my heart over anything else, I really forgot when I was over thinking things. and let me just tell you, it feels so much better.
As cliché as it may sound, follow your heart, make your own decisions, and stick with it. Just do it.
xoxo,
Stacette.
I’ll just start out by saying, I think I have taken the mature way out of a sticky situation, even if that means having to do a deathly deed.
Second of all., save the dissapproving thoughts to yourself, as I know many (ahem, all) of my friends will disagree surely with what I am about to tell you, well, what I just did, at least.
I texted him. That’s right, him… Summer boy. Boy who has been constantly rampaging my thoughts with utter discomfort. Boy who I always doubted and thought bad of, my mistake.
But y’know what? When I tweeted “Life would be easier if names described personalities… But then again, asshole would be too much of a common name” I did not regret it, because such people do exist, and what more can I tell you than that karma is a bitch?
Anyways, I did text summer boy back, just a reply to the text from yesterday… yup. Even though everyone was practically screaming not to text him back, just leave him hanging… I did feel a tad loyal to give at least the simple response of a text since he did catch me online, on facebook, ignoring him… So I did get busted but I bought some time which I had to account for today. So, I did call out on a few (ahem several) problems I had with him and some things I’d been suspicious of him for, just in case… (I’m nice enough to give you a second chance but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be stupid about it.)
We’ve agreed to be friends. End of story.
At least, I’d rather not tell you what happens when I’m out of school… That’ll be more private than you think.
Moral of the story is you can at least try to be more mature in a situation instead of just taking the easy way out. (For me the easy way out being to just slap him in the face, which I barely resisted, and simply say no offence, but I’m not attracted to douchebaggery and then leave)
HERE IS THE CATCH. This doesn’t mean I’m tied down to him, not just yet! I am still a free bitch dancing in the flower fields, oh yes. He may just get super lucky if I decide to pick that flower. We’re just friends. So, I think in conclusion a fresh start may be his only chance to prove to me that it’s going to be different this time… If anything we can still be friends. On the other hand, gentleman is still winning my heart so as far as that goes, I’m pretty much his for the time being.
Don’t twist around my words saying I’m just having options for myself. I will say yes if gentleman asks me out, without a doubt. It’s really depending on the actual relationship between me and the guy and also the timing. This really is just a start to another story… where the plot goes, well, that’s in their hands! 😉
Now I am ecstatic about finding a perfect sweetspot of being queen on a throne saying “maybe, my fair peasant” and being the peasant at the queens feet ready to say yes to anything “your highness” wants.
Sigh.
I’d like to start out by saying, if we don’t have enough of a connection to really talk in depth about things that we both are interested in, don’t even think about asking me out. (I’m talking three hours of several paragraph messaging, and oh yes, it does happen in real life.)
Call me a whore, whatever youre definition of it is… But I am serious when I say: out of all the guys I’ve really talked to, only few have crossed my mind as the thought of “oh my gosh they’re totally like my soulmate because like we have the same interests and like we talk for like hours and we’re like deep!” I really believe that a successful relationship is one that has (close to or) all checks for terms like attraction, communication, trust/reliability, etc… There are probably a lot more than that but I’m just being brief.
Guys, I know it’s hard for most of you to deal with things when you’re just so damn attracted to her. I think the first step that you GUYS can do to prevent any misconceptions occuring in most modern society relationships (I’m looking at you, highschool boys!) IS… Be honest. I’m not even joking. If the biggest reason you like her is because you want a “fuck buddy” or you want her to be your “only fuck buddy”, TELL HER. Okay, now, don’t go off texting her “I want you to be my fuck buddy” just yet… In fact, dont be the one to text about that. Why? Because if you want to see if she’ll agree (I’ll spare you my judgement in your choice here) you don’t want to pressure her into it. NO; just because you asked her “are you sure?” and she said “yeah” doesn’t mean she actually meant it. That’s like simple pursuasion right there. Do it in person, that way you can really see the facial expression and body language to tell if she is ready or not… or wants to. The point of this is to not be misleading. Don’t tell her you want a long relationship with her if that isn’t all you want… 1, that’s emotional damage if she really falls for it, 2, you’re being a douche, and thinking with your dick. Stop. It’s no longer attractive when you’re a douche, give some fucking respect. And seriously dude if you’re really one to be okay with pressuring her into something like that… I’m judging you.
I just realized that this post is sort of homophobic but I’m sorry I just don’t know anything on that! :S
Girls, respect yourself. A wise friend told me that you should not allow a guy to think he has you right away because if you do imply so, a guy’s mind(/dick) will automatically think “oh, ok, alright- I got this, so I can like get far with her”… You must sit on a throne and he will be the peasant coming to you with a request and you will be the one saying “Hmm, I don’t know, maybe, I will see”, because that way they can’t take the advantage over you.
This post may also show off as offensive and sexist but I’m just being completely honest because this is pretty much the biggest problem in our modern society (highschool, anyways).
I guess it really depends what you’re looking for. For me, this is just the basics I have so far learned about our modern relationships… In no way am I saying this is absolutely the right way to deal with things… This is just what you can call my way or opinion on how it should be. You could have some other views than me.
-Stacette
stacetteinlove.wordpress.com 